Friday, January 18, 2008


On the subject of my child's gender, I found I had my first baby related gender equality moment today.

I was looking at a very cool website of baby stuff. Taxi-car baby booties? Book of sci-fi baby names? You have me intrigued.

But then I come across this bullshit.

Boy's snapsuit? Boy's? Why can't a girl wear that shit, because it's fucking blue? My girl can pull that off. What if my girl is born with the power of motherfucking flight? You don't know! I'm looking right at the photograph of the super-costume, and yeah the manufacturer drew a cartoon boy baby on it, but it says boy nowhere on the fucking package. You inferred that bullshit. Who are you to narrow the options for a couple who only wants for their baby the impossible dream of soaring through the air and fighting crime? Even if she can't fly, I hope she has super speed so she can crawl around you at the speed of sound, which will make you cry because you're boring. You don't know a goddamn thing "Spoon Sisters". That's the worst part, you're an adorably feminist sounding organization. How did you convince yourselves of this masculine archetype? Do you think it's inherently "male" or even "wrong" to want to fly? Something stupid and male about it? To hell with you. I don't care how wonderful your organization is, or how badly I wish my friends and relatives would buy me the entire of your catalog at the baby shower. I am furious.

Girls can fly too you... you... motherfuckers.


wagsandpurrs said...

Calm down, Beavis, your girl can wear blue AND she will be able to fly AND fight crime. Because that's what today's girls do.

Dan Telfer said...

I know! That's my whole point! Why won't the Spoon Sisters SEE!?

Bryan Bowden said...

You actually don't even need to buy that outfit. Before you know it, she'll be wearing her bed sheets or towel or other flappable cloth around her neck and making "shhhhhwwwwwwwwoooooooooooo" sounds while running around the house anyway.

anne katherine lesser said...

HAHA! Oh man! Your daughter would look adorable in it though, sure i haven't met her yet cuz she hasn't found her way out of your wife yet, but seriously i can just tell

Fuzzy said...

> cartoon boy baby on it

I wouldn't even blame the cartoon -- that cartoon looks pretty gender neutral to me. but yeah, f that noise.